damm damm damm!!!!

Arggghh... I can't believe I'm wasting so much time and energy on a cd! That cd.. is very important.. it contains past years' answers and references.. I've searched high and low but to no avail.. =( =(

SIGH!!!

WHY must this happen to me??? =(

more than words

been out of sorts lately, plagued with unduly worries.

I trust in God that I've made the right decisions and that He'll bless me with strength and wisdom to carry out my duties faithfully.

Thank you Jesus! Amen!

passion = motivation

it's pretty amazing how i fall asleep easily reading my notes or textbook and I don't when I read an interesting book/article to keep myself awake.

i guess this has got much to do with interests which drive passion which drives a person.

and i should stop wasting time, searching for the person i should become.. bleh.

anyway, i'm quite convinced that all these bullshit are psychological.. what comes to the mind, out of the mouth and from the heart really really matters as thinking, saying and feeling certain things WILL eventually be embedded and become part of your lifestyle..

i need to battle these distractions. like right now.

nothing is impossible and impossible is I M Possible.

one step at a time

Pretty glad that most NOC stuffs've been settled and I'm left with visa application. I really hope that I'll be able to focus all my energy on STUDIES. yes scream studies with me!! And do decently well this sem.

Last 3 weeks, last hopes, last chance.

As for other issues, I'll take one step at a time and not let history repeat itself.



FOCUS and PERSEVERE!!!!

follow up.

Following up to the melodrama I watched yesterday, when one dies, he/she literally dies with nothing... even if he is freaking rich, he can't bring along his wealth, his company, his loved ones..

oh mans.. so much about life.

Oh Mans...

义无反顾 has the most tragical ending ever!

Wishing for some glimmer of hope in the last episode.. but well, I was pretty disappointed and saddened.

Oh wells.. luckily, it's just a soap opera.

I'm Alive!

Praise the Lord! It's good to be alive! =)

Anyway, quoting from Jenny's blog something which I felt made a lot of sense to me, from "The Unbearable Lightness of Being" by Milan Kundera.. "We can never know what to want, because, living only one life, we can neither compare it with our previous lives nor perfect it in our lives to come."

"There is no means of testing which decision is better, because there is no basis for comparison...And what can life be worth if the first rehearsal for life is life itself???"

Which explains why some people can never measure the level of "meaningfulness" of his/her life.. and to me, life's a choice, though influenced by many factors not within our control. Well to me, a meaningful life would be that I've made the best decisions out of the circumstances which arise and have no regrets. Look forward, not back.

A piece of mind.

Whirly week gone in the blink of an eye! Never had I felt like my mind and body are out-of-sync before. I was merely going through the motion everyday, without reflecting much on the events which took place.

At last, TGIF! =)

Well, I've gone through half the phase that is filled with uncertainties, from GAW parties to NOC stuffs to planning for YEP. The other half, unfortunately or not, is also filled with many uncertainities, though with one less thing to fret about.

All I can conclude after this experience is that.. IT's NOT AT ALL EASY.. juggling CSC stuffs, NOC stuff and studies. BUT thank GOD, I found strength within and from my family and friends. =)

(to be continued)

Aftermath..ermm math?math?

All right, my mind's a whirlwind, my eye lids are very heavy and my brain's drained. Today's been highly intellectually-stimulating. It started off with a face-to-face, one-to-one interview in the morning, followed by lab, GAW meeting and a phone interview at night. On top of the hustle and bustle, I wrote 2 thank-you letters, reflected on many many issues.. (still reflecting actually and have yet to come to a conclusion).. and my thoughts're now.. meshed up.

Anyway, whatever the interview results are, how they went.. I shall leave all to fate! Afterall, it all depends on how much the interviewers aka bosses like me. Yup FATE!

During GAW meeting, the subject on the significance of GAW was mentioned. I must admit, though as the PD, I have struggled with bouts of faithlessness and contempt many a times. Once again, I had to re-affirm my objectives in order to proceed with further planning. Well, after all the ups and downs and lots of questioning, I think.. GAW should subsist. Reason being that there're always 2 sides to a coin. While we may think from the kids' point of view (though we were kids before, I feel we never really understood kids), there's also the other point of view. Hence, it's important to re-visit our objectives every now and then to see if we have addressed both sides of the coin. Yup, so what do I mean here?

GAW has 2 purposes. 1. To spread the spirit of giving. 2. To allow the kids to look forward to something which will make them happy. Considering the first point, I think GAW has fulfilled its objectives by spreading the spirit of giving amongst the NUS students as they are given the opportunity to fulfill the little wishes of the kids. I must say, I have been impressed by how some donors took pains to find the exact gift wished for. As for the second point, MOST of the kids are happy upon receiving their gifts, except for a handful unappreciative kids. And out of these MOST kids, some may not be able to get what they wished for by their own means and as such, GAW is an avenue to fulfill their hearts' desires.

By and large, I still feel that it's tough understanding kids. What they show, how they act.. may not be what they really feel. Hence, don't be discouraged if they remain nonchalant and appear unappreciative upon receiving their gifts, for many of them are actually really grateful for what they've gotten.

I guess, one fact that we all have to grapple with as well will be that different people (even people like you and me) have different expectations and have different levels of satisfaction and different desires. Thus, even though some kids might have wished for material goods, as long as the cost of the gift falls within the budget ($25), there is no need to restrict what the kids can wish for.

Well well, after reflecting on all that's being said, based on the 2 fundamental objectives of GAW, GAW should subsist!

What I need most now...

CONFIDENCE!!!

The belief that I'm capable...

Manssssssss... fill me up with faith and confidence!! :S

come on, snap your fingers!

I got something to tell you
I got something to say
I'm gonna put this dream in motion
Never let nothing stand in my way

When the going gets tough
The tough get going

I'm gonna get myself 'cross the river
That's the price I'm willing to pay
I'm gonna make you stand and deliver
And give me love in the old-fashioned way, ooh

Daaaaaaaaarlin',
I'll climb any mountain
Daaaaaaaaarlin',
I'll do anything

Yeah man, so when you think the going gets tough. Think, you've probably gone through tougher times.. so what's now? Just be prepared to pay a price, pay the price and then..

MOVE ON!!

"Brick walls are there for a reason. They are not there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something. The brick walls are there to stop people who don't want it badly enough."
- Randy Pausch

energy zapping

I ought to be happy, ought to be thankful. Midst of all the schoolwork and administrative matters to handle, there're other matters screaming for my attention, screaming so hard that it's just unbearable to ignore.

my mind's clouded. i can't seem to focus. my aching gum's making matters worse.

wat's wrong?

i can feel pressure building up inside my head, waiting to explode.